As Leah quickly approaches turning one, we have started the process of weaning from breast feeding. It's definitely a bunch of mixed emotions, but I am confident it's the right time.
Before she was born I knew I wanted to exclusively breast feed and I just hoped it worked! My original goal was to make it six months, although that quickly turned to nine when I realized my boobs needed to fit into a bridesmaid dress that I bought in December and had to fit into in July.
Early on it wasn't easy. I only fed on demand for about the first two weeks and then pushed for a consistent schedule (which was a lifesaver). I had lactation consultants in the hospital and saw them again twice in Leah's first three weeks (another lifesaver). I had no idea what I was doing and I wanted to make sure we were on the right track early.
I had a serious oversupply problem- a problem many breast feeding moms would love to have, but a problem nonetheless. But Leah was a good eater and had a good latch, so eventually we figured it out and it was good. Really good.
Leah was exclusively breast-fed for the first four months before I went back to work when I became highly dependent on my pump. It was a love-hate relationship for sure! Pumping at work, pumping in the car, trying to keep milk cold in the middle of the Las Vegas summer. Luckily I was able to pump extra- sometimes twice as much as she used- and start a pretty nice freezer stash of milk. We had so much that it was an easy decision to make to donate when a friend had a baby in the NICU who needed breast milk that his mama didn't have yet. It felt so good, like I saved the world! I didn't want to be thanked, I didn't need to be thanked, of course he could have as much as he needed. But I was so proud of myself and so thankful that it was even a possibility.
Leah started solids in April so I guess she was no longer exclusively breast fed, but still had not had a drop of formula.
Starting in July I was getting an itch to dump the pump and cut out a pump session. Weaning had begun.
It wasn't until four days before Leah turned 11 months that I finally ran out of my freezer stash (the biggest reason being a last minute trip to Houston and not being able to bring pumped milk back with me) and had to supplement. Because she is so close to turning one I didn't want to do formula, so we went straight to cow's milk. For the past three weeks, Leah's been drinking an increasingly larger and larger ratio of cow's milk to breast milk, while still nursing at night and first thing in the morning. Wednesday I pumped for the last time and I'm still not totally sure how I feel about it.
In the next few weeks we will drop our morning feeding. I will hang on to the bedtime feeding as long as I can, but I don't expect to go much past her birthday. Leah needs her snuggles and kisses and bedtime prayers, but she doesn't need my milk anymore.
There are so many people to thank as our breast feeding journey comes to an end. Two of my best friends and go-to people for mommy advice didn't have the best breast feeding experiences, but they answered my questions and were (and continue to be) a huge support to me whether they know it or not.
Two of my closest friends in Las Vegas are currently breast feeding, each having her own very different experiences with it, and I am so glad I have been able to share this with them. We help each other. I am just as proud of my ability to give advice and help with their babies as I am of my willingness to ask for their advice and help.
I am also in a Facebook group for breast feeders and while I don't necessarily subscribe to their self-proclaimed crunchy ways, I have appreciated their answers when I asked the questions.
My mom was there from the very beginning and I could not have gotten through the first rocky weeks without her.
Brian has understood the importance of breast feeding for me and Leah, both physically and emotionally, from the beginning. He assured me it would be ok when things weren't working and shared my pride as each month went by when things were going smoothly. I think he's anxious for me to be done, but has never once pushed me or forced me to move faster with weaning than I wanted to. In fact, it was his idea to stick with the nighttime feeding as long as possible! His patience with me... Wow!
And Leah, I am so thankful for how easy she made it.
I am just so proud of myself. I exclusively breast fed my baby for 11 months and still provide her with "liquid gold" on a daily basis. She is healthy and strong and growing taller and smarter every day. It's pretty incredible to look at her and think, "I did that!" Leah has gained two and a half times her birthweight eating solely from my boobs for six months and mostly for the next five. It blows my mind that my body was able to do that for her. It makes me walk a little taller, smile a little bigger, hug a little tighter when I think about it. The most amazing thing I have ever done is grow this little girl from -9 months to her birth, and continuing to do so for the next almost 12. She is my biggest (and best) accomplishment.
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